Cocktail Anatomy

Just. Shhhhhh. Drink.

Taylor Brogan

March 31, 2014 | Gold | April 2014

Fancy Pants

Fancy Pants

– Goldschlager

– Pink Moscato Champagne

– Grenadine

– Champagne Flute

You’re so fancy. You should taste this gold.

You’ll want a champagne flute for the full fanciness effect. Start with a shot of Goldschlager (try to get a few gold-leaf flecks in there for good measure). Add grenadine or simple syrup to taste, but don’t get carried away. Then top with champagne and enjoy.

Prom on a boat

Prom on a Boat

– Disaronno

– Flask

There’s prom. And then there’s prom on a boat.

Fill a flask with Disaronno. Decorate that flask with stickers and Sharpie, or just let it be its cool, fun self. Whatever makes you comfortable. I then encourage you to take that flask with you on board a boat. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRIVE THE BOAT. Or dive from the boat. Basically, sit still and try not to get sea sick.

Veruca Salt

Veruca Salt

– Fireball

– Hot Chocolate Packet

– Hot Water

– Pinch o’ Salt

“I want my geese to lay golden eggs for easter. At least a hundred eggs a day. And a hot, strong drink to take the edge off. Thanks.”

This is the perfect drink for those petulant, hot-headed ladies who seek instant gratification.

Get yourself a festive-ass mug and dump in a packet of hot chocolate. Mini-marshmallows completely optional. Boil some water (if you have an electric kettle, we should be pals), and MIX IT UP. Add a hearty shot of fireball and a pinch of salt.

Collages by Pam Loredo.
Taylor Brogan

Taylor is a Los Angeles-based idiot with a degree in English from the University of Chicago. She wants to write your favorite TV show.


  1. Laura C.
    April 1, 2014

    Leave a Reply

    I’m totally trying fancy pants. I might need to set up a donation if it involves any liquor with gold flecks in it though.

    • inconnu
      April 1, 2014

      Leave a Reply

      Are there any gift-giving holidays coming up? #profit

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