Imagining our favorite television shows as cupcakes.
November 25, 2013 | Cake | December 2013
If movies are cakes, then TV shows are cupcakes, each batch yielding an array of goodies, some maybe less-developed than others if the recipe isn’t quite right. (I’ve found that many chefs tend to forget to add in a dash of Decent Ratings even though it’s right there on the ingredient list, and this can only end tragically for an otherwise delicious batch.)
- Veronica Mars is a mystery set in a melodramatic world – nothing is ever what it seems behind the doors of Neptune’s fancy mansions. Not only will the filling in these cupcakes treat you to a sweet surprise, but sink your teeth into an episode and you’ll uncover the truth: that this dark, ode to noir films has a heart, no matter how guarded Veronica keeps hers. “Well, you know what they say: Veronica Mars, she’s a marshmallow.”
Friday Night Lights
Margarita Texas Cupcakes
- While I’m fairly certain that the Dillon Panthers would have inhaled these (or any, let’s be honest) cupcakes like a vacuum cleaner, these cupcakes are perfect for a night of much needed Texas girl time with the Collettes (and, of course, Grandma Saracen). #TEXASFOREVER
Banana Moon Pie Cupcakes
- Full House is the sort of sappy “family” show that makes some people want to throw up from the sweet and others want to hug puppies. It’s not quite nostalgic so much as it’s nice sometimes to know that if your mom walked into the room, you wouldn’t have to change the channel (I’m side-eyeing you, constant 7th Heaven “sex talks”). These cupcakes are the perfect combination of sweet-but-just-a-little-bit-good-for-you and childhood nostalgia that will have you emailing your mom the recipe hoping she gets the point and bakes them for you.
My So Called Life
Funfetti Oreo Cupcakes
- These cupcakes feel like the sort of thing Rayanne would make, and they’re the perfect cure for anyone existentially brooding about high school. Jordan Catal-who?
- Felicity is too nice for New York and too naïve for college. She’s like a girl scout who’s never been camping before. But eventually she’ll learn that the wild is more than s’mores, and that college is about figuring out who you are when you’re outside of your comfort zone. (College is also about alcohol. The alcohol stands for college. I just want Felicity to get very, very drunk.)
Cherry Pie Cupcakes
- Nothing is what it seems in Twin Peaks, and these delicious treats are not actually mini pies, but cupcakes! Be sure to pair these with a damn fine cup of coffee, Diane.
Freaks and Geeks
- Rainbow cake is my personal specialty, so let me explain you a thing about this recipe: it is so soft and moist and perfect that you could very well eat 6 cupcakes without noticing. I know you think your stomach isn’t big enough and you have such great willpower, but I’m telling you that you just haven’t experienced rainbow cake. What does this mean? Well, that it’s kind of a good thing if you don’t make so much. If you take your time, really enjoy the perfect happiness of each bite. Much like Freaks and Geeks – it’s so good, that you could finish it all in one sitting easily and happily. But then all of your happiness is gone, and where does that leave you? There will never be enough to satisfy, but maybe that’s for the best. Imagine a world where we all did nothing but eat these cupcakes and watch Freaks and Geeks? Wait. Hold on. I take it all back. Someone call Netflix and Judd Apatow and ask them to make a second season. Someone call Martha Stewart and ask her to bake these cupcakes by the hundreds. IT’S IMPORTANT.
The West Wing
Carrot Cake Cupcakes
- Carrot cake seems mature, probably because on some level you can say that there’s vegetables in it. A little bit of Aaron Sorkin dialogue can have the same effect, and just one episode can suddenly have you thinking that you’re sophisticated and intelligent enough to figure out all the world’s problems.
- This show is dark, okay. If there was something darker than dark chocolate, that is what these cupcakes would be. Watch the episode called “Billy” and you’ll understand what I’m saying. But despite how dark the show can be, despite how bleak everything can get, there’s always a sense of togetherness, a sense of a group of people who love each other and can turn a witty phrase or two in conversation together (or with bad guys). And if peanut butter doesn’t say that, then I don’t know what does.
- The younger generations of the Gilmore family are infamous for their sugar intake, yes, but that doesn’t even come close to their average caffeine levels. And I’m still not sure there’s enough in these. Maybe Sookie can modify the recipe.
Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes
- This one is pretty simple: the Gallaghers are Irish, and I wouldn’t put it past at least 3 of them to know how to make a car bomb. Yes, I know what an Irish Car Bomb is; no, I’ve never had one – but I wouldn’t be surprised if every single one of the Gallaghers has.
- Glee is a psychotic show that tries to do absolutely everything and most of the time I end up thinking at least half the people who worked on it were drunk. But that doesn’t mean it’s not extremely entertaining and fun and even objectively good some of the time. These cupcakes are probably not the sort of thing you’d want to eat for the rest of your life – they’re a little bit too much to handle without something simpler to cleanse your palate, but that’s what Glee is too, and I say that with love.
Parks & Recreation
Bacon Hazelnut Buttermilk Cupcakes
- These cupcakes are garnished with bacon and waffles. These cupcakes are classy, but know how to have a good time. If these cupcakes were a government policy, they are probably the only political thing Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson could agree on. Hold up. Why aren’t we creating government policies around these cupcakes? Someone please talk to that absolute babe, Vice President Joe Biden, about this immediately.
Keeping up with the Kardashians
24 Karrot Gold Cupcakes
- It absolutely does not matter what is in these cupcakes. One look at a menu and we all know this is what Kris Jenner is ordering for dessert.
Illustration by Laura Caseley.
Gabrielle attends the University of Chicago, where she studies Character Development (for real). She hates the phrase “guilty pleasure,” but loves “chick flick.” Her dream is to tell stories about the people she isn’t and to never grow out of her 90s teen angst phase (which she entered relatively late, at the age of 18). She can be found tweeting on one of six Twitter accounts at any given time.