Are you there Cake Vodka? It’s me, Sober.

What to do with everyone’s favorite Terrible Vodka.

Gabrielle Costa

November 30, 2013 | Cake | December 2013

Paris Hilton’s Birthday Party

by Gabby Costa

My signature drink, named by a clever friend of mine, is one that is often met with serious judgmental looks.  But if there’s one thing I love, it’s proving judgmental people wrong — and this drink does just that. It’s the Ke$ha of drinks. The words “birthday cake” and “vodka” usually elicit an immediate, almost reflexive, grimace of disgust. But, in my experience, an actual tasting unconditionally results in surprised agreement that it is, in fact, a delicious party refreshment. In particular, if you’re the kind of person who prefers to not have to taste your alcohol, read on:

All you need is love, a.k.a.:

  • Birthday Cake Vodka (imho the best tasting brand is Smirnoff )
  • Diet Coke (not “coke,” unless you really wanna do it the Paris Hilton way)

Measure out the vodka in a shot glass if you’re some sort of perfectionist, but if at a party, I’ve found success in just eyeballing it in the cup and taste-testing until I find the right proportions. Brownie points if you actually order this at the bar while attending Paris Hilton’s actual birthday party! And make sure to snap a pic of you with Paris on a flip camera phone. It’s the autograph of the 21st Century.

cake cock

The Pineapple Upside-Down Caketail

by Kylie Sparks

I created this drink because I was on my annual adventure to my spiritual playground, the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival, and part of the fun of vacation (and dancing in the desert) is creating fun cocktails that set the mood after you drop all your cash on booze to keep in your room (or your car camping site) since the hotel bar and the beer garden are ridiculously pricey.  I wanted something summery, light, a little sweet, and something that would set the tone for the parties, sunning by the pool, and…yeah okay, the pre-game.  I realized I created a monster and introduced it to the masses (or rather the people who were hanging out in my room) at Vidcon 2013.  Now, I bring it to the readers of inconnu….and beyond…
You will need:
  • Pinnacle Cake Vodka (this is my favorite brand of Cake Vodka.  Smirnoff I find is a liiiiittle too sweet in their cake/whipped vodkas, but if that’s your thing, go for it)
  • Pineapple Juice (I prefer the Trader Joe’s Pineapple Juice cans but if you don’t have that, the regular bottle kind will work)
  • Grand Marnier (or Cointreau, but I prefer GM)
  • Club Soda
In your glass (or solo cup, we all know how this is ultimately going to go), fill about a quarter of it with ice.  Then, add about 4-6oz of pineapple juice. Add roughly a shot (or more, you do you, girl) of Pinnacle Cake Vodka. Fill the rest of the cup with club soda, and top off with a splash of Grand Marnier.  Give it a stir (about five seconds worth so the flavors meld together but not to the point they’re completely mixed) and enjoy!
paris cock
Images by Molly Mask.

ORLANDO HEAD

Gabrielle Costa

Gabrielle attends the University of Chicago, where she studies Character Development (for real). She hates the phrase “guilty pleasure,” but loves “chick flick.” Her dream is to tell stories about the people she isn’t and to never grow out of her 90s teen angst phase (which she entered relatively late, at the age of 18). She can be found tweeting on one of six Twitter accounts at any given time.

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