DIY / Humor

Are You Sick of Nail Art Yet?

For the sake of journalism, I painted my nails 5 times this week. I did it because I love you, and because I love me, of course. I’m a nail polish junkie, and I find power in having brightly colored freaky finger nails. Although, there were several moments on the bus when I could feel people starring at my nails, and it took a lot of inner strength to feel strong and beautiful despite the judgmental nail nudists.

Illuminate the streets with these green-on-green Illuminati power nails! If you walk around with your nails like this, I guarantee award winning author Dan Brown will find you and whisper the Illuminati secret password in your ear.

#classy #art #dance #vintage #fab #glam #indie

Don’t try this at home kids. As you can see, it looks like shit. These ‘plaid’ nails gave me more pain than pleasure, and the only way I could make them look halfway decent was to have them pose with a fresh-baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookie.

No Foul Language? Fuck that. No Alcohol? lol im drunk right now. No Vehicles? Yeah I can’t afford a car, I ride the bus like a true covergirl. No Loitering? I’m literally always loitering. I was even loitering while I took this photo at a pre-school. I remember watching the little ones playing on the jungle gym, and there was this one kid who was just laying on his back in the sand, gently waving a stick in the air overhead. Hahah, what a champ.

If you look closely, these ruby red nails have a blue-glitter fringe. They don’t call me Kellie “Kindergarten Vogue” Hogan for nothing. Here’s my number so call me maybe.

When I worked at Chic-fil-A this summer, I wasn’t allowed to wear nail polish at all, so this fall I went TO TOWN. Solid pink nails, neon orange nails, glittery blue nails: basic bitches wear that shit so I don’t even bother. It’s all about the bi-coloured triangle nail. Banana death-grip. I got the swag, and it’s pumpin’ out my ovaries.

- Kellie Hogan

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